Delving into the Experiences of Clinically Diagnosed Narcissists: Beyond the Stigma.

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he states. You’re riding high and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are typically coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from others. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors online – and was later confirmed by a specialist. However, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had previously arrived at that conclusion by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – most notably if they harbor feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, definitions vary what is meant by the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he suggests many people hide it, due to significant negative perception linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through things like seeking admiration,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

Though up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are males, studies points out this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who posts about her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I tend to switch to self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she explains she and her significant other “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models as a child. It’s been a process of understanding continuously the difference between acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me in my early years.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

Like several of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: It was indicated it is expected around in a few months.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number